I know. It’s pop club music. And I also know It’s Lady Gaga. But this shit is really catchy. Like, David Bowie catchy.

For starters I sort of understand the whole futuristic-Russian-mafia-bathhouse-supermodel-cloning-sex-trade thing. But I was a little thrown for a loop when I saw the Wii nun-chuck as an ordering device for the Lady GaGa sex clones.

Is this what we are to expect from the next Wii? Whatever happened to pointing fingers, and throwing things at the whores that we want? Maybe I’m a little old fashioned, but gesture recognition, accelerometers and optical sensor technology is not a real seller for the white slave trade. This isn’t Wii Cooking Mama.

Bad Romance’s choreography is actually kind of fun to watch. Not INCREDIBLE. but entertaining compared to the rest of the shitty stuff out there. GaGa’s motions remind me of the baby eating creature in El Laberintho del Fauno, the lighting reminds me of Chris Cunningham, and the dancing has a pinch of MJ’s Thriller. The music video was actually directed by Francis Lawrence, the man who brought us that wonderful movie called I am Legend.

On a surprisingly positive note, Lady Gaga is kinda hot when she isn’t caked in makeup, or stealing clothes from Bjork’s costume bin. I remember meeting her and hanging around her in early 2007 before she hit it really big. This is what I remember:

A little rough around the edges, I know. But really, who am I to judge? I’m originally from New York City and am used to seeing plenty of “stunning” Italian princesses from Jersey shore rolling in to the city and acting like they nose what’s goin’ on. I digress.

This is how Lady GaGa looks now:

Hot, right?

Now ladies, I am not a complete idiot. I know your tactics. Thanks to the Internet, and seeing enough music video’s I have figured out your “natural looking makeup” techniques. Plus Gwen Stefani already did this ploy in No Doubt’s - Underneath It All. She dresses up in a whole bunch of makeup and dances around making you think, “she’s way too hot to notice a guy like me,” then in the end she shows how whimsical she is, all natural, down to earth. You are supposed to drop everything and boner blush.  Watch No Doubt’s music video Here.

Even back then I was like “WOW!..she’s even hotter WITHOUT all the showbiz makeup!”.

As you can see, I am easily tricked more than once.